Happy birthday Kim Seokjin! Happy anniversary Nita of becoming BTS ARMY
Today is exactly a year after I officially claimed myself as BTS ARMY. I am about 44 years old in four months, a professional consultant in gender, environmental and media strategy and I received so much questions, if not being called as stereotyping as a fangirl. Are you not old enough to be a hysterical fangirl?
So what if I am being hysterical and consumptive? Do I hurt anyone by doing it? Do I ask your money to buy me a merchandise of BTS? Do I hurt your values by being a fangirl?
I wrote almost ten articles about BTS on this blog and its values with literature basis of analysis. First article is about Being Political with BTS on Jin’s Birthday, received 3447 views since 3 December 2020 and become the most views post I ever had. It does tell me that there are so many people out there want to know more about BTS and why they become the biggest boy band in the world after the Beatles and how they impacted the BTS-ARMY life, just like mine!
Personally, BTS has save my life from mentally ill because of the pandemic. They are here with me through my hard times with their comforting songs. I have friends and supportive families, but as they own life is busy, you can’t burden their life with your story all the time. Therefore, other than my books, my writings, my paintings or drawings, BTS is my comfort zone. There was a time when I got yelled by my mother-in-law so loud that if it was not because the BTS song played in my ear, I might go crazy and dragged me to the lowest point in life. That was my epiphany, a moment that I realize, they just save my life for real.
I decided to go back to school for PhD because of them, because I want to learn how the ARMY communicate with each other through social media to the real-life action and movement. What’s value they believe and share with each other, what’s the demographic in Indonesia, so on and so forth. So many questions that I have in mind that can be explain scientifically about BTS and BTS ARMY and then what the heck are you questioning my fangirling activities?
If today’s post sounds not scientific, it is because today is very personal to me. The day that I decided to became an ARMY, going back to school and be a better person. Within a year I was involve in so many BTS-ARMY projects, two pre-schools, forest planting, art exhibitions. I even started to do painting myself.
Particularly with Kim Seokjin, I saw me in him. You know that your idol is your mirror, yourself in a different kind of person, that’s exactly what I feel with Jin. When his sing “I’m the one that I should love,” that’s why I love him, I love myself. He is so random, warm-hearted, funny, crazy, foodies, free spirited, sometimes loud and sometimes so quiet, sometime out spoken and deep thinker. More or less, that’s me that I believe even the algorithm failed to read me.
We absorb energy and adjust to it. He knows how to make ARMY happy even if he has to embarrass himself with funny things like hair bun during the concert of PTD era. He is the mood, the happy pills for people around him. Being on stage and thousand of eyes can make him happy but at the same time exhausting because he is the energy absorber. He is the glue to different personality and his warm heart makes new people feel welcome and easily making friends with everyone. To those who knew me in person, that’s me. I know my super power of using a sincere smile and laugh to break the ice.
And to my other self, Happy Birthday! Stay happy, stay healthy and stay crazy. We need to keep crazy to survive in this madness of life. You have saved my life, but you need to also save yourself and remember you are loved my thousands of ARMY.
Thank you for having me in this new, full of sincere love of BTS ARMY. Let’s make a brighter, cooler and fun future for our Welcome Generation!