Day 736 since the pandemic. I am keeping my journal; I am counting my days. Days of struggling to keep my sanity, guarding my mental health, while also enjoying life as much as I can. I live my life fullest because nothing is for granted, my life can be taken anytime, anywhere. When my time arrives, I shall not have regret at all.
2020 is the worst year ever in my life! That pandemic shit got me to my lowest point and so many times I called my beloved dad and my best friend Jon to take me away with them. I was struggling so hard, then I survived thanks with my former boss who helped me with financial issues. Thanks to my partner, though we fought through out the year, we proofed ourselves to stood still no matter what. And thanks to my friends who would not let me down by any chance.
2021 things are getting better. I can walk straight with my head up again. I found my smile and laugh again. Although pandemic worsen on the mid-year, we are among the lucky one to survive. We were struggling to got the vaccine though. We live only 3 hours from Jakarta, but we needed to queue in the crowded lines for six hours to get the vaccines, the ticket to survive. I learned a lot as a common people. Once I gave up my ID as Jakartans, I lost all the privilege as the Jakarta resident.
Pandemic has taught me a lot about life management. I survived because of my long-term investment of friendships with my besties and network. I learn to save my money, no longer spent it on hedonism lifestyle that I used to had when living in Jakarta and Bali. I really picky on how I spent it. I have a better income this year. I manage to saving and paid my family debt, finally at last.
Life is good this year.
Mentally stable compare to a year before. I have my happy pills and serotonin booster name Kim Seokjin and BTS. Whenever I am feeling down, I just turn their music on, re-watching their RUN-BTS, and other life show, and following their social media just to boost my mood. I even do painting because of Jin. You know how it feels to fall in love with a person over and over again and it gives you energy to enjoying life and being grateful just for breathing.
Once my mental health is stable and I am happy, my relationship with akang is also stronger and better so does to other member of the family. When I am happy, others will be happy. That’s what it means by love yourself first before you can share love to others.
I haven’t got a chance to apply school for my PhD. I am not making any excuses. I just have not found the right choice of university and moment to proceed the process. The proposal for research is done anyhow, and I know what I want to take. 2022, I should go for it! No more excuses.
If I can survive 2020, I can survive 2022 and hopefully even better than 2021! Thank you 2021, you are awesome.