Goodbye 40!


I started my 40 with bleeding, abnormal uterus the doctor said. Got through the curettage surgery and have to take one tablet a day of provera ever since, until when? For the rest of my life, perhaps. Awesome right?! I have to say goodbye to the intention of having children. God knows what is the best for me, and that is all I can say to myself. And yes, I have three elderly that me and Akang have to taking care of, so let’s just forget about our want to have a baby. Isabel Allende on Japanese Lover said, one has to have a goal in life, it is the best cure for all ills.

In my 40, I surrender my soul to the universe. To be honest, I started to stop thinking about myself, I stop being selfish and trust the universe for everything that I have right now and the future. It does not mean that I don’t have a vision or target in life, I do! But I know when to run for it, to pause and to stop. Everything has its own time! See, I become more spiritual being, I become Rumi! Well, not really… anyhow, I am enjoying myself, my world, and my surrounding.

Once I surrender my soul to the universe and stop being selfish, I become sincerer of sharing my times and my life with others. I chose to be with my friends at the women prisoner for the women writing class than attending a meeting with UK MP’s two weeks ago, and I am letting go the chance to get more money by attending an invitation this Friday, again to be with the class. It is okay, I can always find another way to get a money, but I can never turn back the time that I might find surprise and happiness when I am with friends in the class.

Again, God keep all the good things for me.

On my last days of 40, God gives me happiness. I was taking a medical check-up last week, things I was afraid of, afraid of the fact that I might have a tumor inside my uterus or in my breast, afraid I might be feeling down than I ever been. But, the result is great! I am clean from those things that I was afraid of. That is the best early present for me.

And today, two girls from my class won the writing competition and it is a national level… How can I am not happy will all these blessings in my 40! Instead of the juggling moment in life, I prefer to look at and remember only the best ones on my last day of 40.

Thank you 40! And I am excited to have my 41 and all those coming surprises in life.

And here is the picture of me enjoying my last day of 40 with Bali Dancing Class, damn I look so sexy with that stagen, I have waist 🙂




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