Messages from 39 yo single chick on the Rooster Year


If the 22 years old girl writing an article about ‘stop single life shaming’, all might react, see if she is changing her mind in 5 years. So, here is my words to all girls, across the age, but especially to those under 30.

It is true, the hardest period of being single is under 30. Your parents, extended family, friends, colleague, strangers on your social media, suddenly feels like they have the right to say…. Go! Get married girl. Find your happiness. Marriage before is too late.

Too of late for what? If you can die anytime, you can marry anytime.

What I mean by the hardest part is, you will always find people who nagging and preaching you about marriage… always! But once you are above 35, and you are standing on your own, being independent, content and firm about who you are as a person, you can say FUCK YOU! to those people.

Look at the example of Ira Kusno. She is a senior journalist with many awards, she is so smart. She is 48 years old single lady. Do you know what people talk about her? WHY SHE IS STILL SINGLE? And everyone start questioning what is wrong with her.

No, the question should be reverse, WHAT IS THE FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! Can woman decide whatever she wants in life? What is wrong for being single? Are we bothering you or something?

As you getting older, you are learning that happiness and marriage life is not equal. How many of your friend divorce before their marriage even 10 years? How many of your friend mentally abused by their partner? Take a simple thing, how many of your marriage friends envious of your freedom, to do whatever, to go wherever you like?

Absolutely there are many happy marriage life, but single life is also full of happiness.  Here some thought. We are happily living on our own money instead of bothering our parents to help you with your ‘family’ bill, or your children. Do you treat your parents like a nanny? God surely forgive you, hah!

Everyone feel lonely sometime, even if you have a partner. And yet, you do craving for some of Me Time, to be with yourself. How many often you see a family sitting on the restaurant but not talking? Single ladies, got all the best time of her own, you just have to make the best of them.

I have a busy life, both of work, me time and family and my partner. Life is not always about work of course, but if you have more of free time, you should do more for yourself and for others, in a good way. I spend most of my free time for writing fiction, drawing, and reading. Or sometime I just run to the beach to talk to the universe and myself. Once you get to know yourself, as a self, you won’t feel so lonely that much.

I really dislike girls who feel like the loneliest person in the world but not trying to overcome it. You never too late to learn new things, learn how to dance, sing, playing the instrument, or go back to college. Just be active, be useful for yourself and make a small change for others. Just stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are about to die tomorrow, make the most of your life today!

Again, as you are getting older, your circle of friends is getting smaller. Everyone will be busy with their own life, and that is life, live with it. Those who staying with you are your best friends for life. And I believe they will not nagging you about marriage because they will honour your choice in life. IF your closest friends are still nagging you about it, maybe you should stay away from them! Simple. If they cannot respect your choices in life, they are not respect you as a person! And they will keep doing that for years and years and years… girl, trust me that is exhausting and useless, there are other friendship you can nurture.

A little bit about me. I have 5 years of relationship, on and off, ups and downs, but we are still together. The reason why we are still together is that we respect each other choices in life. I don’t need to be with him, I want to be with him. Two sentence with huge difference. He does not interfere my life, so do I. He respects me as a person. Yes, in a relationship does not marriage, and the society will still count me as single hahaha… whatever!

OK girls, live your life fullest and when you decide to share it with your partner, decided consciously as your own choice! Be happy with yourself!

Happy Rooster Year!



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